Thursday, July 19, 2007


Bonkers Bishop or Bonking Bishop?


So, Archbishop Pius Ncube is an adulterer? He's been banging other men's wives. Totally outrageous for a Catholic cleric. (Perhaps there's an acute shortage of altar boys in his parish)

The Herald had a field day with this one ( I can't get links because their site is down for some reason.) As has been ZBC. By the way, this is the same Herald, ZBC etc that looked the other way when a certain President had an affair with his secretary and had three kids with her, to the despair of his ailing wife. Oh, and what about what all the ministers have been up to over the years? And that Permanent Secretary ( the term does not mean quite what it does in other countries) who nearly killed his wife for expressing her concern that he was exposing her to Aids with his, um, adultery.

Oh, no, this lot making noise about adultery is about as ridiculous as China lecturing Iraq over the invasion of Kuwait.

Don't get me wrong, if Ncube's been sleeping with other men's wives then he deserves not only whatever punishment the Law Courts will mete out, but the censure of his Church. ( This, for those with short memories, is the same Roman Catholic Church that sanctioned the marriage of Robert Mugabe, a widower, and Grace Marufu, a divorcee.) I admire Ncube's defiance, but I find some of his utterances totally ill-advised to the point of insane. And the fact that nothing seems to happen him for saying such things, whereas people do vanish for a careless or misconstrued remark on the way home on the bus.

Well, maybe something has. People are asking how this man- the one whose wife was getting done by the archbishop-could possibly afford surveillance equipment of the sort that has delivered these lurid pictures. (You know what, Archbishop, if you are going to do something adventurous like get some tail when you are under a vow of celibacy, might as well go all the way. You don't need to hide what's happening under a duvet. You and the women concerned could make quite a bit in the West) Of course, it is all speculation. As is the word around the campfire that this would not be the first time our Charlie Tens found out something about a high-profile cleric and used it in the service of the regime. Only difference is that in the other case, the good reverend was prevailed upon to review his political beliefs and next we see him on television he is telling us to be good little Christians subject ourselves to authority......

So, if the CIO did dig up dirt on the Archbishop, this raises the question; is he that much a threat to the regime? My impression of him is that of an attention-craver, someone on a crusade in front of the itv and BBC cameras. And then there's all those stupid things he says like calling on the Brits to invade Zimbabwe ( they did not need an invitation in the 1890s and they do not need one now). Yet, whatever we may say of him, it seems he was scary enough to the regime to prod them in to finding his smelly side and exposing it to the rest of the world instead of extorting him in to blessing their continued occupation of our country as they are rumoured to have done with a certain Apostle. What other explanation could there be? That they are appalled at adultery by a public figure?

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