One day, I'm walking with the Father (of blessed memory) in downtown Harare when we run in to this old man with a goatee and the miserable look of one of those chiefs captured by the BSAC in the first Chimurenga/Umvukela, whose pictures graced the pages of history text books. He exchanged pleasantries with my old man(of blessed memory)briefly, before continuing. I had seen his face on TV a few times. My father seemed to know a lot of people. I think this was because of his job with the Ministry of Lands's Rural State Land Office.
"Who was that?"I asked Musodza Snr. "Dr Tafataona Mahoso," he replied."Bloody academic. Reading has made him mad, he's out of touch with the world. Interesting things he has to say, but he is so out of touch, they are as valuable as dialogue in a cartoon show. Contradicts himself too."
I reminded the Father that Mahoso walked, whereas everyone else flashed the latest Benz if they could. Surely, that meant he identified with the common man/woman? My Father smiled. "American and British academics do the same, they will have their eccentricities. But they still think they are more intelligent than the common man/woman. That too makes them useless to the cause of the common man/woman. Sheer hypocrisy."
My father made me promise never to be like Mahoso. "Us Musodzas are made of more solid material."
It would be easy to assume that I inherited my contempt for this smug, ghastly little man from my late father. But Mahoso, as any media practitioner in Zimbabwe knows, has-in the true tradition of the ZANU gravy train- made a career of fomenting our revulsion.
I get to be reminded what an absolute prick the man is every time I peruse the Sunday Mail newspaper, where his myopic ravings are accorded the Orwellian double-speak appellation African Focus. In his last instalment, he is miffed that while his master has contrived to do a Zimbabwe-Rhodesia on Tsvangirai (yes, on Tsvangirai NOT THE ZIMBABWEAN PEOPLE.)there are still writers, commentators etc still "Mugabe-bashing".
"Article 19 of the Zimbabwe inter-party agreement says that those who have been working for the more than 100 hate channels and media outlets directed against Zimbabwe in the name of illegal regime change must stop and come home (if they are outside the country) and apply for registration or accreditation.
The hate channels have not stopped nor have the Zimbabwean journalists operating them heeded the call to stop. Many of them are not only embedded in the Western denial industry (Studio Seven for instance), but they also belong to one or the other of the MDC formations who signed the September 15 inter-party agreement with Zanu-PF.
In other words, as the country braces itself for the formation of a coalition government for Zimbabwe, at least two issues remain unresolved in the media and information sector.
The first issue is that the hate channels helping Britain, the US and EU in their regime change onslaught on Zimbabwe have not stopped broadcasting illegally into Zimbabwe or distributing various products of regime change propaganda aimed at directing the thought of most Zimbabweans against the people’s interests as outlined in Article 19 of the interparty agreement."
I would be exaggerating my own (still not insignificant) status in the Diaspora media by presuming that I am on that list "100 hate channels". Of course, there aren't 100 channels, and there certainly are not "hate". He is using hate the way a demon would describe the work of a Catholic priest with holy water and exorcist prayers. I'm guessing he is talking about SW Radio Africa, NewZimbabwe.com etc.
Dr Mahoso cites Article 19 of what again? Were any of the "hate channels" signatory to it? Then why the bloody hell should they abide by it? And come home and do what? What for? What a short memory this sycopant has; the whole accreditation thing was dreamed up by another delusional and even more turgid but ingrating academic for the purpose of muzzling alternative voices to the Zanoid choruses. No media practitioner-except those who know they can't prevent being relocated to the bottom of a lake somewhere in Marondera or those who don't have to worry about buying their own cars-is actually in favour of accreditation.
I'm not going to get accredited,Mahoso. I am not going to stop writing about what your masters are doing until they pack it in. It's funny you like to say that we are being used by the West. Every thing that I have acquired in this land, I worked for it. You, on the other hand, who provides for you? This nonsense about helping Britain and the US! The people we are helping are the ones your master unleashed hunger,violence, disease and every other atrocity just so he can stay in office.
Mahoso is trying to paint the Zimbabwean media abroad as parts of the M.D.C. He is trying to fit M.D.C. in to the Zanoid paradim where control of media is anatomically correct. So, let me spell this out again: Working with the MDC is not neccessarily working for the MDC!! We are not MDC mouthpieces the way The Herald and the ZBC etc are for ZANU. It has nothing to do with the fact that MDC has not splashed out 4x4s etc on us. We write because we want to. Can you understand that, Mr Mahoso or are you so used to being someone else's bitch that you wouldn't understand what it's like to have any prowess of your own let alone what to do with them?
It would appear, then Mahoso, that while Mugabe thinks he has tamed the MDC as a party-you as the media hangman-have failed to silence us! This is not a battle you can expect to win, sir. Not in this day and age of bluetooth and podcasting and stuff.
Pick on your own size. Get one of those Herald Grade 5-level English essayists.